Date: 07/21/09 06:55 pm Title: Guilty Pleasures
Not bad. I'd like a bit more history so I can understand why Jorg's so awful
Author's Response: thanks i am planing to add more history futher into the story but the next chapter might clear somethings up thanks for the review :D x
Date: 07/21/09 05:33 pm Title: Guilty Pleasures
bill is a bad bad boy =] but i do love it
Author's Response: haha he can be a bad boy i love bill like that hehe :D thanks for the review xx
Date: 07/21/09 05:21 pm Title: Guilty Pleasures
aww=] update sooon plz thix is so good=] thx=]
Date: 07/21/09 04:20 pm Title: Guilty Pleasures
it's nice good idea but put more details it's a little mess,from one action it's coming other without even ending the last one,u know.Put more details but its nice
Author's Response: ok thanks so you think i should add more detail into like the sences like more of the feelings and more speach? thanks for the review x:D
Date: 07/21/09 03:31 pm Title: Guilty Pleasures
Aw, cute, little, innocent Bill.
Author's Response: haha he'll not be so innocent for long lol thanks for the review xx
Date: 07/17/09 12:59 pm Title: What a day!
eppp i wan more lol
Date: 07/17/09 12:56 pm Title: What a day!
eppp i wan more lol
Date: 07/13/09 04:06 pm Title: What a day!
HOW CAN TOM'S FATHER SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO BILL?!!?!?!?!?! god....i feel so bad for him.
poor Bill.....
AHHH great chapter!! EKK i cant wait until you write more!!!
Author's Response: thanks yeah how can he say that to Bill i will write soon my beta just got to get back to me soon i hoping as I have writen most of the chapters already so you wont have to write much longer x thanks :DD
Date: 07/13/09 04:01 pm Title: Meeting my slave
awww this is so sweet!
i love how Tom treats Bill so nicely!
and Tom's a father is awful! how can they just laugh at the people in the streets like that? its appauling.
OMG i cant wait to read more!
Date: 07/12/09 01:26 am Title: What a day!
I think you need a Beta if you don't have one, they'd probably catch the mistakes that you don't they're little but kinda drive me nuts (it's ok though).
My other issue is that yes, Bill only has one purpose but b/c of Tom's personality and Bill's fear there's no sense in them having any romantic relationship yet. First they need to become friends, discover their shared love for music, have lots of things in common like their hopes for the country's future, maybe Bill could have told tom his story, how he became a slave (after they became close friends) and then Tom could kiss him, but not so fast, if Bill's really looking for the one, he wouldn't settle on Tom just b/c he has no choice and Tom wouldn't open bill's dressing gown like that if he really respected him.
Sorry, just my thoughts.
Author's Response: ok thanks for sharing your thourghts i don't mind yes i do have a beta haha she really good haha well i wanted it to go fast as I don't want to have to do loads of chapters as i am working on my baby (the truth is hiding in their eyes) and i only write this one when i feel down or when i have writing rush haha thanks for the review i take into thourght x
Date: 07/10/09 05:40 pm Title: What a day!
This story is moving a little faster than I would like, but it is still so sweet and the characters have a lot of potential.
Author's Response: thanks they are moving fast i agree but i was in a very sexual mood sorry thanks for the review x :D
Date: 07/10/09 05:10 am Title: What a day!
omg xD
great story ^^
Author's Response: thanks x :D
Date: 07/10/09 05:03 am Title: Meeting my slave
great so far. update more soon please :]
Date: 07/10/09 04:02 am Title: What a day!
way to go with your father tomi boy. so aggressive! -cough- not -cough-
lmao =D
Author's Response: haha yeah tomi should get tougher haha thanks for the review x :D
Date: 07/10/09 12:25 am Title: What a day!
aww.. I like how tom treats Bill~ soo sweet :33 yay~ :DD hahaha
Author's Response: haha thanks glad you like it :D xx
Date: 07/10/09 12:15 am Title: What a day!
Love it!
Author's Response: thanks so much x :D glad u like it
Date: 07/09/09 11:59 pm Title: What a day!
i love ur story. i love it when tom is sweet like pixie sticks =^.^=. please continue
Author's Response: i am going to continue thanks haha i love picie sticks ^^ thanks x :D
Date: 07/09/09 11:31 pm Title: Meeting my slave
Damn dude tom's dad is an ass but i kind of want him to hurt bill lol
Date: 07/09/09 10:46 pm Title: What a day!
Nice!! Can't wait to read more!! :D
Author's Response: thanks should have chapter up soon when my beta gets back to me hehe x :DD