Date: 08/14/10 05:17 am Title: Chapter 1
An intresting story, I liked the fic and the consept and the pairing.
But I will say that it was a little....chessey? I'm sorry, I dont have another word to discribe it as.
It just all seemed a bit quick and a bit rushed.
Still liked it, keep writing het/gen/slash/twincest, whatever makes your boat float.
the only way to get better at writing is to write somemore!!!!
hehe,
(oh, and if you respond, respond to tokiohotelfanfiction@gmail.com my other email is insane)
Date: 07/03/10 11:28 pm Title: Chapter 1
i love the name kyrie. mostly cuz im a kingdom hearts nerd. except in kh its spelled Kairi. love ur writnin
Date: 07/03/10 11:21 pm Title: Chapter 1
i love the name kyrie. mostly cuz im a kingdom hearts nerd. except in kh its spelled Kairi. love ur writnin
Date: 12/05/09 03:19 pm Title: Chapter 1
wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Date: 08/29/09 12:50 am Title: Chapter 1
umm... that was... different.
i would recommend making the dialouge during sex a little more realistic (or maybe just cut it down a bit and focus more on feelings) and... approach the whole merman revelation a little more gradually. I mean this in absolutely no negative way, I really think you are a good writer, but nobody is perfect. Maybe hire a beta reader for the next story! Who knows?
Much love,
Nami
Author's Response: thanks :) Didn't take it in a negative way so no worries
Date: 08/17/09 10:08 pm Title: Chapter 1
ohhh. i like this one....
plz write more!
Author's Response: thanks alright I shall :)
Date: 07/09/09 06:05 pm Title: Chapter 1
awwww!!!! totally, totally awsome!!! and i don't want it to end here! =0 i relly just wanna read the ENTIRE story that comes after this! =0 *immagines all the cute sluff and hot slash and other goodies*
pretty please? (A)
Author's Response: =D I'll try my best lol I'm soooo like swamped with stuff i've been away and yeah but I hope to write more to this :D
Date: 07/05/09 02:19 am Title: Chapter 1
I don't even read Slash but I just randomly clicked this. >.>
But I read it, and enjoyed the thoughts you wrote. Especially the end about the him being a mermam and his sister is mermaid. LOL. About, I think the hint you gave was really color. About the girl's hair, their green and blue tinted skin, their very ocean-ish house and Andreas calling her a 'water goddess'. Very clever! [:
Author's Response: thank you =D
Date: 07/02/09 07:30 pm Title: Chapter 1
awww so sweet