Date: 09/29/09 04:20 am Title: Chapter 3: On Bitterness and Burns
i love that you updated but i wanna see more soon. i keep thinking about this before i sleep and have the nicest/ worst dreams... just dont kill billa..
Author's Response: We're flattered that you thought of us! ^^rnAnd we'll have a lovely update for you on Monday. :)rnThank you for reading, and sweet dreams. <3
Date: 09/28/09 05:03 pm Title: Chapter 3: On Bitterness and Burns
oh my gosh!!!!i love this story! please update again soon!!!
Author's Response: Check back on Monday!
Date: 09/28/09 02:27 pm Title: Chapter 3: On Bitterness and Burns
Aww, this is really good! Poor Tom, and poor Bill. Help him Bill! And I thought the black jewel tears was beautiful imagery. :D
Author's Response: Thank you so much!
Date: 09/28/09 10:13 am Title: Chapter 3: On Bitterness and Burns
oh more more))
Author's Response: :) It's coming next Monday.
Date: 09/28/09 09:41 am Title: Chapter 3: On Bitterness and Burns
I loved this. Bill is so sweet and i hope he helps Tom get better soon and that he's treated better. I can't wait until next Monday!
Date: 09/28/09 09:37 am Title: Chapter 3: On Bitterness and Burns
I loved this. Bill is so sweet and i hope he helps Tom get better soon and that he's treated better. I can't wait until next Monday!
Author's Response: Thank you! rnWe quite love our sweet little Bill. :)
Date: 09/28/09 08:39 am Title: Chapter 3: On Bitterness and Burns
OMG, I love this. I feel so bad for Bill, more please!!!
Author's Response: Check back on Monday. :)rnThank you for reviewing.
Date: 08/12/09 12:24 pm Title: Chapter 1: Kind Prince Turned Captive
Are you going to continue with the story??
Author's Response: Yup. Almost done with the next chapter, in fact.
Date: 06/26/09 09:36 am Title: Chapter 2: Silence Broken by Diamonds
Wow!! It's magnificent, I totally can't wait to read more!!!
Date: 06/25/09 10:17 pm Title: Chapter 2: Silence Broken by Diamonds
OMG! I LOVE this! More please!
Date: 06/25/09 03:19 pm Title: Chapter 2: Silence Broken by Diamonds
Oh my gosh this story is really good! keep the chappies coming!
Date: 06/25/09 01:59 pm Title: Chapter 2: Silence Broken by Diamonds
Aww poor Bill :( Poor Tom too, but this is so harsh for both of them. It's interesting and kind of fun to read stuff like this. It's creative. I like it. Update soon.
Author's Response: Thanks, we'll try not to keep you waiting for too long. Hope you enjoy the rest.
Date: 06/25/09 01:59 pm Title: Chapter 2: Silence Broken by Diamonds
Wow! I'm surprised. I can honestly say that I didn't expect this to be so great! As the reviewers before me also stated, you use such amazing imagery in you're writing. It's so nice to read something new and different like you're fairy story. I can not wait until the next update. Hurry and write! =D
Author's Response: Thank you, we're very pleased that this story has gotten such a warm response. Hope you enjoy the rest. :)
Date: 06/25/09 11:24 am Title: Chapter 2: Silence Broken by Diamonds
i love it. more more more
Author's Response: Thanks! We hope you enjoy the rest!
Date: 06/25/09 11:14 am Title: Chapter 2: Silence Broken by Diamonds
Another impressive chapter :)
I very much like the dimension that you've given Gustav, how he's both guilty and sympathetic toward the fae for capturing them, but he still somewhat grudgingly captures them so that he can heal his brother. Also, I like how you build Tom's character beginning with his brothers' opinions and memories and show the effect of his illness on his family.
As for criticisms; you forgot the closing tag on the underline so the entire chapter is underlined, but that's really just a careless mistake, nothing to worry about. If you don't know the end tag, it's the same thing but with a / before the u. Also, the huge breaks between POV switches aren't necessary; two spaces instead of the usual one is all you really need. There's also an HTML code that makes a line across the page as a break, but I don't know it.
Your imagery of Tom was very good, although a little hard to swallow. I feel so bad for him. Actually, your imagery seems the most impressive at all the worst moments---like when Bill was crying. 'the rhythmic stutter of his whimpering sobs' Great imagery, very sad though. :[
And here is when I beg for more soon :)
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your advice--and helping me catch that mistake. I'm a bit embarassed that I didn't preview first to fix it. rnrn
Date: 06/25/09 10:50 am Title: Chapter 1: Kind Prince Turned Captive
Faerie!Bill! That's quite new; I've read elf!Bill and succubus!Bill and other varied fantasy creatures, but never a faerie, I think. :)
This seems to have a lot of potential, and I don't have any major complaints. I feel like maybe a little more time could have been spent explaining the world in which Bill and Andreas live, but you've still got room to do that later in the story, or perhaps you even do so in chapter 2 [I'll see].
The only thing I want to complain about is a bit of a pet peeve I have; you might want to avoid calling Andreas 'Andi' in the text. Bill might call him Andi, but since he goes by Andreas as well, it would be better to use only Andreas unless Bill is speaking. As in, instead of saying 'Andi said this, did that, etc' it would be 'Andreas said this, did that, etc.' If everyone called him Andi, it wouldn't really matter; for example, even if Bill's full name was William, no one would call him that anyway, so there'd be no reason to use it in speech or text. Anyway, I hope you don't mind a little criticism. Aside from that, the writing was excellent [besides a typo here or there, but everyone suffers typos] and the imagery was good as well. You're doing a great job so far :)
Just one more thing, this is a criticism or anything, but you described Bill's wings as 'half-transparent'. That's fine, but I just want to let you know that 'translucent' basically means the same thing, and doesn't sound as awkward as 'half-transparent.'
I hope I helped a bit and I can't wait to read more. Luckily, I have another chapter left before I have to beg for an update :)
Author's Response: You've helped a lot, I'm very grateful that you took the time to give me some advice.rnrnThe world where Bill and Andreas live will get plenty of attention in future chapters.rnrnMy reasoning for referring to Andreas as Andi was that I wanted a bit of variety in the text. Instead of just calling him Andreas over and over. I hadn't thought of it from your standpoint, though, and I will be sure to keep your advice in mind.rnrnThank you again for reviewing and reading. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story. :)
Date: 06/25/09 10:03 am Title: Chapter 2: Silence Broken by Diamonds
I'm hooked! I like this but i'm worried that there won't be a happy ending(because of the summary). But I'm going to hang on. Update soon!
Author's Response: Thank you! We hope you enjoy the rest of the story!
Date: 06/23/09 02:54 pm Title: Chapter 1: Kind Prince Turned Captive
I've always been a huge fan of faerie stories, although it's usually hard to find good ones. However, you've done it wonderfully. Great job! I love the imagery you used. Please update soon!
Author's Response: Thank you and I hope that you enjoy the rest of the story!