Date: 03/03/11 10:43 pm Title: Chapter 1
-=shivers=- well done!
Date: 06/13/09 02:26 pm Title: Chapter 1
wow! (Y) x
Date: 06/05/09 07:44 pm Title: Chapter 1
Mirrors tend to worry me anyway, so thanks for that. lol Seriously, though, awesome story. Very scary to think about, but I'm glad the boys made it through. :)
Date: 06/04/09 03:40 pm Title: Chapter 1
it's good..
all the best!!
Date: 06/04/09 12:58 pm Title: Chapter 1
...At every sound, Bill jumped, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end, holding on to Tom for grim death... - am i crazy if i think bill would have looked adorable here, regardless of actually being scared for life? =P
...the scars on Gustav’s neck and Bill’s shoulders enough to make them think twice and consider ‘What if?’... - ok im a scaredy cat! dont even think of summoning Mary, im not even gonna look into the mirror for a few days T___T
Date: 06/02/09 05:03 am Title: Chapter 1
Spooky..brrr...I know I'm never gong to look at mirrors the same way
Date: 06/01/09 10:34 pm Title: Chapter 1
Wow. That really something. You should write things like this more often. I've got chills. . .That or it's the fact I just ate ice cream XD
Date: 06/01/09 07:21 pm Title: Chapter 1
I love that four grown men are standing in front of a mirror trying to scare the shit out each other.
OMG this story is awesome!!!!! I was so sure it was going to be all a dream but it wasn’t what an amazing twist to have it true! A true scary story. Fabulous!!!! *muwah* once I find out who you are if you are not on my favorites list you will be!
Date: 06/01/09 03:45 am Title: Chapter 1
Oooh very nice story! :D
Date: 05/30/09 05:56 pm Title: Chapter 1
oh my
that freaked me out big timee =XX
GOOD JOB !! :DD
Date: 05/29/09 03:38 pm Title: Chapter 1
Amazing. I really loved that. I actually get really scared when people start talking about Bloody Mary though. This story reminded me of when I was younger, I think 7 or 8, I was at a friend's house and we got on the topic of Bloody Mary. We did what the boys did, we went into the bathroom at midnight, with flashlight and called her name three times. We had the door closed and the light off, but the flashlight was on and reflecting in the mirror. I remember being so scared that night. I was just like Bill, hiding behind my friend. Anyway, I remember seeing a different face in the mirror, but I'm not sure if it was mine, my friend's or maybe just the nightmare I had that night. But I do know that I will NEVER try to do that again. I was just too scary. I'm not sure if I believe in her or not, but I am scared of the dark sometimes and I hate being in the bathroom with the lights off. Anyway, when Bill was trapped in the bathroom, I could relate to his fear; and not wanting to go to the bathroom to pee is also something I've also experienced. I also wanted my friend to accompany me but I didn't want to wake her up. LOL. Also, I especially loved how the suspense built up as the boys fell asleep and Bill needed to pee. Once he was in there I was like "Omg! what ever is gonna happen, please happen already!" I was just expecting something to shoot out at him, lol. But he saw her there, in the mirror, and she came for him. That was much better than what I was expecting. And Gustav saves the day, haha. I liked that, too. It was partly his fault that she showed up, so its only fitting that he got rid of her, too, right? LOL. Oh, and the little bit of humor from Tom. The line '"Gustav!" Tom exclaimed. "Stop taunting the scary ghost!"' Made me giggle, which was greatly needed because I was scared, reading and remembering my own memories. So, overall, I loved that I could relate to this story and to Bill. I think you did a mighty great job writing this and I wish you the best of luck in the challenge!
Date: 05/29/09 10:18 am Title: Chapter 1
Wow! That was amazing! You just proved that there's no need for a story to be full of drama or sex for it to be good.
I really enjoyed reading it even though I was so scared. Thank God it's not midnight here otherwise I would have freaked out. I am sure that for the next few days I'll think of your story everytime I look in the mirror.
The funny thing is that you made me curious. That "what if" question is stuck in my head now. Thanks a lot!
I find really fascinating the way you portrayed Bloody Mary. You made her really scary and you didn't exagerate in the way you described her. That's good cause if you had she would seem riddiculous. I also liked the boys' charaters and reactions. You made evrything seem believable. And also it was very vivid. It was like I was watching a movie.
All in all you did an amazing job. I think you have a good chance in winning this thing. Good luck to you!
Date: 05/29/09 06:08 am Title: Chapter 1
This was excellent, I really enjoyed it. I figured that some good gen stories would come out of this challenge, and I was right. The suspense was done masterfully; I felt scared right along with Bill the entire time. I'm really rather susceptible to ghost stories myself and I could relate to his fears. When he was in the bathroom with Bloody Mary, I was practically curled up, rocking back and forth, biting my nails.
Also, you managed the horror factor without it seeming cliché or forced or awkward. It was easy to read through and think that it was a believable situation, that the characters' fright was believable, and their reactions were believable. It really helped construct the creepy/scary ambience of the story. Especially the way that everything built up to the moment when Bill finally looked in the mirror and saw Bloody Mary, and then when she climbed out to attack Bill.
Also, your portrayal of Bloody Mary [although I know nothing about her other than the story] seems more imaginative than the stereotypical horror monster [though I don't know much about that either... XD] but I feel like you took some time to really make her a unique... can I call her a character? Monster? Ghost? Phantom? Like, the way she talked and the way that Bill and Gustav's skin both burned when she touched him. I could hear her in my head whenever she spoke, and I could see her in my mind.
You also did a great job of keeping the different personalities of the boys consistent and they each were a key part of the storyline, none were just side characters that sat on the sidelines and were there for comic relief. It was really well played out.
Although, I rather liked this line:
“Gustav!” Tom exclaimed. “Stop taunting the scary ghost!”
I thought it was funny, but it was well-place humor. Leave it to Tom, eh?
Lastly, I simply like how you used an old urban legend and brought it to life through the boys, and made it seem actually believable, despite all the people who have probably tried it themselves and disproved the story. [Not myself though, I'm way too scared of being in the dark period, much less with a mirror, calling a specter.]
Overall, great job, and I enjoyed it very much. :) A great alternative to horror movies.
And Gustav = kick ass ♥
Date: 05/28/09 09:10 am Title: Chapter 1
wow!! i was really terrified the whole time....i believe in stuff like that....i have goosebumps....excellent job...
Date: 05/28/09 05:02 am Title: Chapter 1
Oooh. Spooky. Good job. ;D
Date: 05/28/09 02:25 am Title: Chapter 1
O.o
And THAT is exactly WHY I never did that shit as a child. Congrats, you've manage to remind me of the fact I'm a giant scaredy-cat! Lol.
On the other hand, epically well written! Great story and I like how you drew it out. *grin*
Date: 05/27/09 08:07 pm Title: Chapter 1
I LOVE ME SOME SCARY STORIES!. This was perfect, and I've never done the whole "bloody Mary" thing before because I really am a panzie, but this is just perfect!.:))).
Date: 05/27/09 10:31 am Title: Chapter 1
Really good, I love Urban Legends.