Date: 05/27/09 06:55 pm Title: Chapter 1
No offense whatsoever, but this was pretty void of emotion. It really just made it bland, but such a valiant effort. I give you major props for trying!.x].
Date: 05/27/09 04:19 am Title: Chapter 1
I really loved how you could get out so much emotion and feeling with so little words! Great job :)
Date: 05/26/09 10:08 pm Title: Chapter 1
Ouch. That's gonna hurt, isn't it? Good luck to them both. They'll need it.
Date: 05/26/09 09:28 pm Title: Chapter 1
That was depressing. XD I like it.
Date: 05/26/09 03:43 pm Title: Chapter 1
last line = my life.
this is amazing. :D
Date: 05/26/09 03:07 pm Title: Chapter 1
this is good for a first time het
u should write more for this genre
Date: 05/26/09 01:18 pm Title: Chapter 1
I like the way this is written. Very nice. =) I feel bad for the girl. Bill is so focused on the physical and she's more focused on the relationship.
Date: 05/26/09 08:09 am Title: Chapter 1
Wow, I like it. I've never read Bill like this before. It doesn't sound like him, but I really like it.
Date: 05/26/09 03:50 am Title: Chapter 1
I liked the comparative style here, I think it worked well. I do feel sorry for Bill though!