Date: 09/28/10 04:33 pm Title: Chapter 4
ohhhhh.. please update soon!! :) xx
Date: 11/12/09 06:47 pm Title: Chapter 4
AHHHHHH!!!!
I HATE CLIFFIES!!
update or i will get you!!
MWAHAHAHAHA!!
make it a sexy scene between Bill and Ella...that would be AWESOME!
=D
Date: 10/29/09 03:28 am Title: Chapter 4
This is a fun story! :)Continue!!
Date: 10/28/09 08:44 pm Title: Chapter 4
Oh geez. Happy to see yer updating again! Get into the swing of things again, and you'll feel better!
Author's Response: yup yup
Date: 10/28/09 08:36 pm Title: Cursed
yout erlcome huN! we could totes have a convo this way too.... hmmmmmmmm i love your abnner btw!
Author's Response: ooo yay, lol, i like it too
Date: 10/28/09 08:33 pm Title: Chapter 4
oooh meanie gustav man! arg, glad you update hun! yay!
Author's Response: lol, hey thea, thanks
Date: 09/07/09 07:18 am Title: Chapter 3
funny!!!!!!!!!!!! cant wait for an update
Date: 08/06/09 03:13 am Title: Chapter 3
Really strange this curse thing. But combinations are even stranger. Gustav and David?! Never expected.Need to read more...
Author's Response: puts a whole new deff. to word of mouth huh, lol
Date: 08/06/09 01:59 am Title: Chapter 3
Well, someone doesn't like yogurt.
Once again, you really wanna look for those different forms and spellings for words. I found one thing; you wrote "your" when it should have been "you're". If you just keep your eyes open, you'll see these things. Remember, my advice is golden... lol
Other than that, not too bad. Seriously, it was good.
Date: 08/05/09 11:32 pm Title: Chapter 3
LMAO! I love the last line. EPIC!
I've missed this one!
Love how she cancels out the others orders! Never would have thought of that one myself! good job!
Date: 06/03/09 06:31 pm Title: Chapter 2
Wow I wonder who else was in that utility closet lol!!! I can't wait for more!!! This fan fic is soooo different from the others!! I love it!!! Yay for awesome fan fics!!!!!!b29;
Date: 05/25/09 09:27 pm Title: Chapter 2
=O le gasp!
haha i like this so far! it seems really interesting!
more soon when you can?
Date: 05/25/09 09:25 am Title: Chapter 2
Geoooorg isn't it xD
Date: 05/25/09 03:24 am Title: Chapter 2
So, Toki, who was in the closet with Gustav? PERV! *raspberry*
Date: 05/24/09 11:51 pm Title: Chapter 2
Ooo Ooo OOooooo MORE MORE
Date: 05/24/09 09:26 pm Title: Cursed
I really think that you need to mention that the premise of this fic is taken from Gail Carson Levine's Ella Enchanted. I didn't see it mentioned anywhere.
Date: 05/24/09 07:39 pm Title: Chapter 2
i think, that the pother person MIGHT be geo, but honestly i think it might be tom too.....or bill, but tom gives me th ebiggest vibe ;) lol, i don't really know though.
so this was pretty good, but try and give your stuff a read through before you post, because there were a few words missing, nothing that was hard to guess though, other wise it was pretty good, i'm not much of once for grammer so i can't give any tips there, lol, or spelling...only other thing is look out for homonomes....homanims? (see? no spelling lol)you hade presants, insteadof presence....one being gifts anf th eother having to do with actually being somehwere, otherewise your word choices were good, and the sentance structure simple and easy to understand,
there wasn't a point where i wa slost as to what was going on, so your scene planning is good, as an option, if oyu'd like ot add a little more to the chapters, you could try adding transitional paragraphs, instead of jus ttime skips, but both woirk equally well, and transitional paragraphs only work in some situations.
I really love the story idea/plot, i think it could be very interesting, i'd like to see what kind of trouble the boys can get her into, that would be funny. and her father (jost) seems exactly like i would assume him ot be with a daughter who had that kind of 'curse'. i do kind of wonder what happened to allthe batteries though...did th eboyts steal them for thier wireless controllers? lol, that would be kinda funny.....and could lead ot saom,e potentially funny situations!
i hope this review was long enough, and i ope you tak eit well, i mean it in only the best of ways, but i know how things said in writing can come across as rude or as an insult, none of this was meant that way, instead i hope you use it as a tool to improve, i would really love to see this story go somewhere, (do great things) lol, i think its an awesome idea! go toki! i know you can do it!!!
Date: 04/29/09 09:11 pm Title: Cursed
its a really good start!
Date: 04/28/09 10:23 pm Title: Cursed
OK, maybe this might not turn out too bad, lol! Glad to see that it's at least amusing, anyway. I'll read it if you post it.
Date: 04/28/09 10:51 am Title: Cursed
this seems to be interesting, hope to read more soon ;)