Hey there, I realy like your story and I adore your way of handling the hole mafia related plot. Everything is thought through as I like it in this genre. Otherwise it would look aweful. BUT I have kind of a problem with the hole lover sidestory, since Brook came into picture. I sadly don't have any good thoughts about it. It's just to much with the hole Bill/Tom/Andrej/Twins story that's going on. I would love to see how B&T start their mafia rulership and not how the twins get problems because of the (kind of sick) action Tom and Andrej did. These baby-sidestory doesn't really fit. Of course it can't be happy or fluid all time .....but.....oh gosh I hope I don't look like a hater or something like that. I really have the feeling the story is getting out of hand and I loose the feeling that you think things through..........Thats quite sad, cause I really love your style, also the mafia plot promised so much.
Hopefully you aren't angry or hurt by me, that's not my intention! Futhermore it's an impression I got.

Author's Response: Sorry you\'re not having fun with the babies aspect of the story. I actually planned it out a while ago. Yes, this is a tale about the twins being in a mafia family, but it\'s not JUST about being in the mafia, at least at this point. They\'re only 17, and they have parents who are planning for them to go to college, so it\'s not like they\'d be taking over the family any time soon. In fact, they won\'t be ready to take over for a good fifteen years or more. There have been several big mafia related story lines, and now it\'s time to focus on their regular lives for a while. Teenage boys do stupid things like getting girls knocked up. Tom just did it in a really, really stupid way. So, it\'s what\'s happening. There will be more mafia stuff in the future, but Tom and Bill won\'t be mafia bosses in this one! Maybe if there\'s a sequel.... ;)

Hey,
I really like this story! Your way to create Shy's character is awesome. Also how you describe her interaction with the twins. Oh and another great development in the storyline is that Tom is not a Vampire, but a werewolf. I really love werewolves, but I hope it won't be a Twilight-Werewolf. His nature seems to be the one of an old schooled werewolf-type so I don't think you would make me upset by refering to him as doggie. So there's one question in my head now, why did you describe it as an Vampire-Genre? Will there be a Vampire, will it be Bill or will you have another idea? I look Forward to you answering my question through your new chapters. Now seariously your FF is good in manny ways, from the interesting storyline till your writing skills with all it's devices.
I wish you a nice weeked or more what's left of it^^

Oh and I hope you understood everything I said. English is not my mother tongue, so there could be a few mistakes in it. Also because it's 1.49am right now^^

Greetings from Germany ;)

Author's Response:

Oh thank you, lovely! :) Hahaha, i\'m pretty new to all the werewolf/vampire stuff but i like werewolves too :D
Urm, i\'m not a fan of twilight, haha, but there\'s a few forbidden love motifs in chapters to come, but i honeslty don\'t think they\'ll be much like twilight :) hopefully. I do know i would NEVER call him \'doggie\' though, hahaha, he\'s a wolf! ;)
I\'ve gone with the old-school Armenian Werewolf, with incy-wincy alterations, but it will all explained in the story for you my dear :) and yes, there will big a big part of vampires in there, and i\'m dropping a hint here, but wizards/witches are also present, tehe, i thought if i\'m entering the mythical world i may as well do it whole heartedly ;)
Your English was perfect! :D really :)
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR REVIEW! i look forward to more ;)
i just updated by the way, hopefully some of your questions are answered :)
oxo

Hey,

well I really love this two chapters. They have also a good structure, so it's easy to follow the happenings. BUT the cliffhanger is just totally unfair!!!!!! I have to struggle with not to hate you ;P I look forward for the next chapter of you, oh and I think Tom will kick Lawsons ass by the way.
Greetings

Hey there, I like the first chapter so far. It's interesting and I also don't think that you've put to much information in it. So please go ahead ;)
lg

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I\'m glad you\'re enjoying it. And thank you for reading the chapter notes, I didn\'t think many people read those :P

mmmh I was expecting that........sadly, but I hoped (cause Bill still being there after Toms and Gustavs talk)you would show that there are people who are not reacting like that. I would have liked to read a fic where this does not happen and the protagonists fight against it together from the start. This can also be dramatic and well done and it would be a little more interesting. Bills conversations with Tom and the feeling of guilt by ignoring his family gave me a little hope so far, but yeah ..... I'm a little torn, because I know this "turn of events" (from movie, books and TV-Shows) all to well, expected and feared it. Maybe I will stick around, but I fear it's easy to loose interest, now, on my part.
I say this to let you know, that there is nothing wrong with your writing skills/style for me, it's quite the opposite; I love it actually. It's just that this story becomes to ordinary for me, due to the drama piont in so many fics seems to be about rapists,Bill as the weak one (yes, I consider his action as weak)and Tom as his savior in the end. I will have a look into the following chapters, but we'll see. Please don't take this review as insult or as trolling (someone else already did so). I really don't mean it personal, but I think it's important to be honest.

Author's Response: oh, i totally appreciate the honesty! absolutely! i do hope you\'ll keep reading though, cuz...well, all i can say is the story\'s not over yet.

I'm german, so this story found my interest, 'cause it's always interesting to see, what people made of it in fics. Sadly I read some which were not very acurate in history, so I hope you can make it better. Till now it seems quite good.
I was skeptical about Tom being a high ranked SS officer. That makes him questionable in many ways, but I'm sure, he did this because he was forced (by his father, the authorities or his will to find Bill again). Since homosexuals were one kind of people they brought into the KZ, Tom is in deep trouble, not to mention his interaction with Bill. He could be killed in front of erveryone if his relationship should slip up or he could use his status to run away with Bill. So there are many diffrent options.

Author's Response: Oh it makes me nervous to be trying to impress a German reader! If anything comes out inaccurate, don\'t hesitate to shoot me an email or review. I\'ve taken classes on the Holocaust and I do extensive research before I post :). As for Tom being an SS member, it will all come out eventually but I can assure you that he\'s not evil at heart. You know how much pressure there was on German boys be do their part in the war for the motherland etc. thank you so much for the ideas, for reading, and taking the time to write such a detailed review. I really appreciate it and I\'m glad you\'re enjoying the story so far.

Well you made me curious with this first chapter. I think he tried to shoot himself?
Anyway your writing style is quite nice, too. So I will stick around for a while ;)

Author's Response: Aw, thank you! For now things are a bit hazy, seeing as Tom\'s not quite up to speed with where he stands with his family. Eventually though everything will all be explained.

Hi,
the prologue is kind of short, yes, but as you said...it's just a prologue. I think it will be very interesting with the sci-fi elements. Also your style is nice to read, so I will definitley look forward to the next chapter. Did you finished it by the way or are you still in writing progress?

Author's Response: Hello!\r\n\r\nSci-fi elements are in place, for this is more futuristic yet periodic at the same time. But, I won\'t spoil so much. The story is finished, but the epilogue is still in work. So, update will be a whole lot quicker. \r\n\r\nThank you for the review!

hey,^^
first of all your writing style is amazing! The atmosphere is also really good described, even if the happening between Bill and Tom were quite fast, but I don't mind. I look forward to learn more about the gang buisness and also Bills work. You really catched me with the idea and writing style so go on with that^^
Well I saw you are kind of new here? So I wanted to ask, if you already finished the story or if you are currently writing on it?

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the feedback. ^^\r\nTo answer your question... I am new to actually submitting work (and I am so ultimately stoked that it was validated), but have lurked and read plenty\'a\'fics. This one is currently in progress, I plan to update once or twice weekly. I will continue and finish this piece, I have it all planned. ^^ To make up for Bill and Tom meeting so quickly, I\'m going to borrow some inspiration from Quentin Tarantino and go back in time for some chapters to better explain Bill and Tom\'s lives, to build their characters before jumping into anything where they actually notice romantic interest in one another. :3 I\'m going to work hard to keep up with the style and perhaps being more detailed, I went back through this chapter a few times to add more. It was kind of like building a cake, you make the important parts, then decorate. xD I\'m very pleased that you are interested in this! It has made my night!

Hey there,
well...please tell me they will suffer equally like Tom does? I hope there aren't so many chapters left before Tom gets some kind of revenge. Otherwise it would make me very upset, it's really dramatic and I don't know how long I can stand the current situation in Toms life.
But that is something you should take as a compliment^^ Only good wrting skills can transport the described feelings of the maincharacter to the readers! So I will stick around for a while, but please.....give Tom a break ;)

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks a lot for reading:) well, i can give u a little hint. Tom will have his revenge,but something else will happen too. I know the torture and abuse is alot for some readers. I will get there soon. You will be surprised to see the twist in the coming chapters.