Penname: barely-human [Contact]
Real name: mary
Member Since: 10/23/08
Membership status: Member
Bio:
"The snail lives the way I like to live,
it carries its home with it." Cortázar


Some things you may (or may not) want to know about me are that...
...I totally wuuuuv the kaulitz twins (duh!)
...I'm a non-native speaker (go easy on me)
...I happen to be in love with this site
...I'm a senior student
...I happen to do pretty well at school
...I like other bands such as The Hives, Oasis, R.E.M and The Clash
...My father made me love all the 70's music, speacially the Beatles, Black Sabbath and Deep Purple
...One of my favourite books is The Catcher in the Rye
...One of my favourite writters is Herman Hesse
...I have one sibling, and she's my best friend
...I like talking and babbling shit (you should have gussed that by now)
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Contact Stories by barely-human [5] Reviews by barely-human [122] barely-human's Favorites [31]
                                          
Reviews by barely-human
The Lesson by th4ever       

Rated: NC17 | Reviews - 7 | |
Summary: Let me introdue you Tom Kaulitz...or shall i say Tammy Kaulitz...hehe..what happens when Tom needs to lern the lesson of how to treat women accortingly??
Categories: Het, Slash
Characters: Andreas, Bill Kaulitz, Georg Listing, Gustav Schafer, Original Female Character, Original Male Character, Simone Trumper, Tom Kaulitz
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover, Fantasy, Fluff, Humor, Paranormal, Sex Change
Main Pairing: Bill/OFC, Tom/OFC, Tom/OMC
Side Pairing: None
Warnings: Adult Content, Cross Dressing, Light Kink
Chapters: 3 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 1335 Read Count: 926
[Report This] Published: 12/19/07 Updated: 12/29/07
Reviewer: barely-human Signed
Date: 12/08/08 Title: Chapter 3: WTF???

This is interesting. I wanna know what happens to poor Tom now that he is actually a she

A Common Misconception by boots       

Rated: PG-13 | Reviews - 67 | |
Summary: Bill gets in trouble, and Tom stumbles into an...awkward situation. [Set when the twins are 13-14ish]
Categories: Slash
Characters: Bill Kaulitz, Tom Kaulitz
Genre: Humor, Twincest
Main Pairing: Tom/Bill
Side Pairing: None
Warnings: Under-Age Erotica
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 851 Read Count: 3832
[Report This] Published: 01/15/08 Updated: 01/15/08
Reviewer: barely-human Signed
Date: 01/22/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This is totally awesome! I couldn't stop laughing! I mean, poor Tom...
Aren't we all a bunch of perverted people? I also thought Bill was referring to...y'know!
And the cold water! It so reminded me to my father! (back in his school days, after P.E the students were to take a cold shower, and yeah, he was the only weirdo who actually liked it...but the point is people actually believed cold showers were good for one's skin!)

Turn Back Time by izzap       

Rated: R | Reviews - 1034 | |
Summary: Past Featured StoryWhat happens when your true love is from a different time?

Categories: Slash
Characters: Bill Kaulitz, Georg Listing, Gustav Schafer, Original Female Character, Original Male Character, Simone Trumper, Tom Kaulitz
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, Fantasy, Romance, Twincest - Not Related
Main Pairing: Tom/Bill
Side Pairing: None
Warnings: Adult Content, Light Kink, OOC, WIP
Chapters: 31 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 156796 Read Count: 84921
[Report This] Published: 01/17/08 Updated: 06/10/10
Reviewer: barely-human Signed
Date: 10/23/08 Title: Chapter 5: Like a Rainbow on a Rainy Day

Sorry to haven't reviewed sooner but I just couldn't stop reading not even for letting you know that I did so! I so love this story about them. I've never been fond of AUs but this one is really well written and makes me feel light or something. Just the idea of Tom and Bill living in different times is original. My favourite chapter so far was 'Aw, he fell for me'. I must say you tricked me with that title. Also, excuse my rough english, I've still got to improve so much more. My congratulations on the story, later I'll get on with the reading!

Author's Response: Well, thank you for reviewing, I would\'ve been fine if you waited until the last chapter, since a lot of people do. I know what it\'s like reading stories that you can\'t stop reading even to leave a review, so I understand. :) And thanks!! I\'m really glad you\'re liking it so far, and that you think it\'s original - that\'s what I was aiming for. And don\'t worry - your English is great!

Cigars and vodka. by Anchy       

Rated: R | Reviews - 59 | |
Summary:


David likes to play games. Tom doesn't... But does Tom have a choice?

[picture by Kingcosi from photobucket]
Categories: Slash
Characters: Bill Kaulitz, David Jost, Georg Listing, Gustav Schafer, Saki, Tom Kaulitz
Genre: Drama, Romance, Twincest
Main Pairing: Bill/Jost/Tom, Jost/Tom, Tom/Bill
Side Pairing: None
Warnings: Light Kink, Voyeurism
Chapters: 12 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 12033 Read Count: 7273
[Report This] Published: 01/24/08 Updated: 02/16/08
Reviewer: barely-human Signed
Date: 10/26/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Oh my! Poor Tomi, being blackmailed by naughty David! Y'know? I don't dislike this David/Tom/Bill thing, not at all! Anyway, I feel like Tom will not help but tell Bill everything about it in the end if they keep going like this. Besides, David found out...about what? Tom being gay, you mean? Well, I'll just get on with the reading, and hopefully, find out by myself! (Ps: I'm still thinking about Bear one another's burden, you meanie, leaving me with the uncertainty!)

Author's Response: haha. i love your comments.

Reviewer: barely-human Signed
Date: 10/26/08 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Blimey! Feels as if anything could happen! Oh dear old Tom, not much of a thinker, huh? David is real evil incarnated here! I'm so loving this fic!

Author's Response: He\'s not. but you\'ll see

Reviewer: barely-human Signed
Date: 10/27/08 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

No need for explanations, I guess, c'mon! David is your manager Tom! He won't say a word, idiot! *sorry, I just gotta say it!* *please add some kind of frenchie accent to the 'idiot' part, kind of remembered something!* Hell, no! Bill is one smarty ass, how would he knew about Tom's longing?

Author's Response: hehe. He just might

Reviewer: barely-human Signed
Date: 10/27/08 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Gooooshhhh so much sexual tension here! Seriously, you're a meanie....! Honestly, I can't actually think of anything smart, I'm like....gooshh!!...like fucking melting!!! Tom?? smex???? My! I believe you've just burnt my brain, ma'am!

Author's Response: :))

Reviewer: barely-human Signed
Date: 10/27/08 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Damn! I knew you were just teasing me! (unconsciously...knew it!) I was like 'awww such a nice guy, this David' Ok, not really, but when he said 'you really are something Tom' sounded like a freaking movie! A very awesome one, btw. And Tom crying! So cute... like a teddy bear *I can hardly hear my sibling yelling /plushies/ over me! she's freaking obsessed, believe me* And then again, I was listening to my not so current romantic songs, all like 'Could it be? David must have fallen in love!'
Now, how cheesy was THAT?

Author's Response: David? In love? yeah... not gonna happen

Reviewer: barely-human Signed
Date: 10/27/08 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6

Yeah...right...forget about the cheesy mood I was on while reading the previous chapter, evil-David's back and I'm just hating him! Poor, poor little Tomi, so fragile!

Author's Response: oh, tomi and fragile together... that makes me laugh :))

Reviewer: barely-human Signed
Date: 10/27/08 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7

Are you trying to kill me? Right, you've already killed my brain, will you leave me heartless also? You know you want him, Tom! Go for it!
Oh, puppy eyes... I wonder when has that not worked with anyone? (Ps. hey, maybe -it wasn't- (yeah, right) David's intention to make Tom fall in love with him, but seems as if he already has)

Author's Response: Well it isn\'t... so...

Reviewer: barely-human Signed
Date: 10/27/08 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8

Poor real-David, and I mean it, like the real-guy-David, the friendly-fellow-David... since right now I have nothing but dark and death thoughts about him! What the hell is he trying to do to Tom? I feel like an idiot (more than usual), why do I not seem to understand it? Is he or is he not in love with Tom? Is he....*sigh* a perv? Such a mischiveous man!

Author's Response: :)) real life david is not really that good, as far as i\'ve heard on the internets :P

Reviewer: barely-human Signed
Date: 10/27/08 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9

Like? I loved this chapter! Moreover, I totally adored it! You're still a meanie, and a great writer. My!, I have written something about Tom and David because of your inspiration! Just that I wanna Tom to be the evil-perverted one, y'know? But I kinda like it this way too. Bill...honestly, having seen his brother sneak out so many times, lying about (excuse this) 'working on the new track' alone with David...He should have put the pieces together by now! C'mon! Naivete really kills me

Author's Response: He\'s not naive. you probably already found out about that

Reviewer: barely-human Signed
Date: 10/27/08 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10

So, Bill was the one who set it all up? Now, that's pure evil! And what's with the word evil anyways? Duh...let's see the epilogue...perhaps my brain will regenerate...somehow!

Author's Response: nope. wrong.

Reviewer: barely-human Signed
Date: 10/27/08 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 11

Yeah, David is some kind of magical mesias, he wants the world to be happy and gave Bill the perfect alibi, he convinced Bill, and also had previously prepared Tom for the right moment. Is that the explanation? You serious? David couldn't have taken all the trouble and then leave empty-handed! Dude, I'm worried...He's up to something!

Author's Response: he\'s not. and he didn\'t come up with the idea

Reviewer: barely-human Signed
Date: 10/27/08 Title: Chapter 12: Epilogue

No way! That was really it? David was a good person? Now, I've been watching some BBC videos (psycology won't give a break) about Freud and all that stuff, so hear me out! (he-man-like posture) I think that David really fell for Tom, but just wouldn't awknowledge it for his own sake. Then, he put all that longing into making Tom fall for Bill, so that he wouldn't be thinking all the time. But then, what purpose would that possibly serve? He would still feel the same, so he left. Take that Freud, Adler, Jung!

Author's Response: indeed. too much psychology for you :P

Cuteness is not a good reason by yulin       

Rated: NC17 | Reviews - 83 | |
Summary:

"If we both want it, what's wrong with it?"
Categories: Slash
Characters: Bill Kaulitz, David Jost, Georg Listing, Gustav Schafer, Saki, Tom Kaulitz
Genre: Humor, Romance
Main Pairing: Jost/Tom
Side Pairing: None
Warnings: Adult Content
Chapters: 10 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 20943 Read Count: 6362
[Report This] Published: 01/31/08 Updated: 11/25/08
Reviewer: barely-human Signed
Date: 10/29/08 Title: Chapter 3: Milk and Cookies

I'm literally jumping on my feet right now, I just can't believe I'm reading a Jost/Tom and eventually find myself enjoying it so far! Is it a translation? If so, I dare to say it's very well done. I'm no good at translating, and I salute you for doing it. Firstly, because I envy you for having that skill and also because I don't know how to speak Italian, so I might never have found this if you hadn't translated it! My, Tom is just too cute (and sexy) for this world. Yeah, that's probably why David likes him.

Author's Response: well, first of all: yes, it\'s a translation, but I\'m not the translator. Emilianne is. \r\nAll thanks go to her ^___^\r\n\r\nThen, well, I\'m very glad you liked it^^\r\nI know that Jost/Tom is such an unusual pairing, but I can\'t stop loving them *.*

Reviewer: barely-human Signed
Date: 11/28/08 Title: Chapter 10: 3 Lovers

Poor David, had no luck with his former girlfriend, huh? Anyway, I so adore this pairing. I think Tom looks cuter when being paired up with David (if that's even possible!) Oh, and Bill...he should stop acting like an ass, it's starting to get me on my nerves, really!

Author's Response: I\'m so happy you like the pairing *__*\r\nBill is..err... he could be lovely if he wants, but I\'m afraid this is not the case :P\r\nanyway, thank you very much^^

Brotherly betrayal by Tokio4life       

Rated: G | Reviews - 7 | |
Summary: bill sees something and can't believe his eyes.
Categories: Slash
Characters: Andreas, Bill Kaulitz, Tom Kaulitz
Genre: Drabble - LOCKED
Main Pairing: Tom/Andreas
Side Pairing: None
Warnings: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 100 Read Count: 427
[Report This] Published: 02/23/08 Updated: 02/23/08
Reviewer: barely-human Signed
Date: 02/18/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

You said it all in very few words and that is quite an accomplishment (I like drabbles, in fact, I wuv drabbles)

Author's Response: aww ^^ i\'m really glad u liked it!! and thanks for the review! *hugs*

O Hay by Kermit the Frog       

Rated: R | Reviews - 152 | |
Summary: Just a walk in the park with your favorite frog!!


Categories: Het
Characters: Andreas, Original Female Character
Genre: Horror, Sex Change
Main Pairing: Georg/Andreas
Side Pairing: None
Warnings: Food Play
Chapters: 16 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1733 Read Count: 6348
[Report This] Published: 03/16/08 Updated: 07/16/13
Reviewer: barely-human Signed
Date: 03/07/09 Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 15

It scares me so much that I like this! I don't even know if I like this in a good way if anything. I won't even pretend I'm getting the meaning out of all this, I just adore it for no reason at all. Maybe u r that good, maybe you make people like me (crazy me) love this strange fic even if it is equaly confussing. I dunno...
My! I've just realized there are so many things I dunno!
Anyway, u r awesome, this is awesome, my brain's just died.

The Origins of Spring by mnschoen       

Rated: NC17 | Reviews - 62 | |
Summary: Past Featured Story
The Origins of Spring


Tom idolizes Georg and a seed is planted.

Categories: Slash
Characters: Bill Kaulitz, Georg Listing, Tom Kaulitz
Genre: Romance
Main Pairing: Tom/Georg
Side Pairing: None
Warnings: Adult Content, Drug Use, Under-Age Erotica
Chapters: 9 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 19705 Read Count: 7237
[Report This] Published: 04/13/08 Updated: 11/12/08
Reviewer: barely-human Signed
Date: 02/02/09 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter Nine

No! this is really the end? But I was loving this so much! It even made me cry at times (I usually don't get this corny and emotional, so...). In a way, it's a good end, though. It makes you feel like Tom and Georg may actually love each other without really knowing it, because they're so young and all, I guess. The whole thing was so deep! You really are a great writer.