Date: 05/23/18 06:12 am Title: Partner in Crime
Oh, I’ve just finished.
I apologize in advance for this shitty-private talking, but I feel as I have to explain myself a little bit. I was an active FFTH reader as a writer back in 2006, but then I guess life happened and I dropped it off, just like that. Then some things made me come back over 10 years later and now, here I am, back in 2018, feeling like I missed something huge. If only you knew how much I regret it, holy mother of fuck.
Those things you, guys, were going through here… well, it had to be amazing. Wish I were part of it.
There is always this question in my mind, since those 3 months I am, let’s say, back. Is it proper to read this? Right now, I have your whole story, downloaded into my kindle, and this huge opportunity just to read, whenever I want to, the opportunity that people who were with you during writing did not have. I feel almost like a criminal, like I am insulting all of those, who followed #815 for years because I simply know what it means, to wait for the chapter days, weeks, months or maybe even years… and now, here I am, doing the thing they weren’t able to, just like that, because I happened to find it years later.
On the other hand, I am just satisfied. Purely satisfied, I didn’t have to wait, had this amazing time spent with your story, opportunity to sink in, to go through it in such a short time I did. It feels good, as it hit me so much harder than it probably would done served in parts. The emotions I had together, even if there were not easy to head, characters whose changes I could have observed and started to realise it at once. This story took me off my regular life somehow, made me want only to read it, not to actually… live the life, if you know, what I mean. I honestly don’t know if it’s good or bad, not wanting to spend time with your boyfriend, family, friends, to go to the pub, chattering, playing games, doing this pretty normal stuff which usually makes you satisfied. Not this time; instead of my regular habits (which I find pretty accurate if you’d ask), I just wanted to read further. Not to let emotions which are mine, occur in my head; as I wished only to feels those, which belong to Tom or Bill.
That’s a strange feeling, you know?
But you made it so fucking possible.
I am not good at expressing my feelings into words and the thing I’m trying to do here is to tell you, how much I like the story you’ve created. Honestly, I don’t know if you’ve got it through my (pretty thrilled, I’d say) thoughts, but right now I wished I were with you 10 years ago and could express it by then. So many times. 47 times or even more, as I know, how it is, to stay blank, wanting to give up and not being able to write a word. I wish I were there, to underline, how good this story was, to help you go through it, just to be there and give you that impression, that things you were doing are appreciated. I feel like this is the only thing I could have given to you as the „thank you” for this story and the emotions it led me to.
Right now, I feel like I have nothing I can give you back and it pisses me off. In my life I’m trying to live the rule of „the tie”, and today you gave me 1:0 or even 2:0, 10:0, and that’s just not how life should work for me.
The big „thank you” is the only weapon I have in here. It feels like this „I love you”, neither Tom nor Bill told to each other, but none of them wasn’t really ready to hear it. Hope you are.
I am pretty ready to say it.
You know, during reading this and discovering how great the story is by itself, I felt the anger. Anger, that you are not allowing any kind of translations. As I said before, I’m back into FFTH and it’s been years since my disappearance, many great stories written. Then I found this and as English isn’t my mother tongue, I had this huge will to translate it, to let other people read it, feel it, experience it as I did.
And then I realised… I just cannot.
Those days when I was reading it, couldn’t have spoken with my loved ones made me think about the reasons for such an inconvenience. And, yeah, emotions, for sure, but there was something else, something I didn’t understand at the beginning and when it faced me, I laughed so loud. You took me, not even with your emotions, but with words, words – let me be cheesy just for once – enchained in this very language. I don’t feel comfortable with expressing myself in English (and probably you can easily say so), but English was and actually is the only language I want to go with through this story. During reading, I’ve just realised, there is no other way both to write and read it. And even if I wish so hard I could translate it, I just simply don’t find it accurate. It won’t be the same.
I know this comment is pretty long and if you’re reading this, well, good for me, but I already feel like I took too much of your time. Forgive me. I wanna say you so many things and I just cannot choose which are the most important. I still don’t know. Just let me go with one more, at least.
I downloaded this story to my kindle (I am not a big fan of reading things on a screen) and when my reader was like 70%, then 75%, I started to… slow down. I know you know what I mean, in the end, you are a reader too (yep, I did my stalking, sorry). It isn’t like I didn’t want to keep up with #815, just realised it will finish soon and I didn’t want it to. So I started to delay the moment of reaching my kindle, trying to do normal stuff but wasn’t quite able to – and then decided to check other of your stories, the only thing that helped a little. I bumped into your one-parts (which were very good), even left a comment once, felt good, went back to #815, somehow pleased. And, well, one more thing occurred to me.
You’ve developed so much.
Don’t get me wrong. I love #815, I really do. I find the language, the style the best at it could have been, as I tried to underline earlier. But then read one of your most recent stories and, Anette, oh my god, is so much… I won’t write „better”, I don’t think it’s better because you simply cannot compare them. I just wish #815 was written years later.
Simple, selfish wish.
At the same time, I don’t want it to be re-written, as I understand completely it’s a big part of your life, the chapter you’ve closed, you’ve decided to move on. I do, I really do. I know how it is, to put such a big part of yourself into something, then share with people. It’s full of your emotions, full of your experience, full of all the shit you were going through during the years you were writing it. And it’s completed in the best way it could have been.
But I just want more. More of your feelings, emotions, that shit you just want to put out of your head – in the words you are right now able to create. I know that you can bring my imagination even deeper than it went, take it and smash into my expectations. There is not a big amount a beauty in the world, but there is a beauty in the way you are creating. This very difficult beauty, which makes you feel sick, hate yourself, which makes you face your thoughts, even if you don’t want to. But also gives you that peace afterwards, the satisfaction you’ve managed to do it.
I don’t think I can ask you for it, as you with this story gave me so much, more than I have ever expected, but… but please. Write more. I found your one-parts masterpieces, they are, but… I just have to try: please, write a bigger story. The story, that I know you can write, story, which will burn my feelings and emotions, which will make me sick and wanting to go out of myself. I don’t know who you actually are, what’s your occupation, your life, but I do know one thing: you are an amazing writer.
Just don’t let it go.
I’ll be here, waiting.
Date: 02/18/18 12:46 pm Title: Partner in Crime
I will keep on repeating this: but this is one of my top 5 of BillxTom fanfiction. It has made me cry since the very first time I read in Spanish. I had been looking for the story for a very long time because I had the urge to go to the letters all over again. And let me tell you this: it was one of my wisest decisions. So, thank you, BrokenMirror for such a masterpiece.
I loved it once again.
Date: 02/05/18 09:07 am Title: Partner in Crime
Dear Broken Mirror,
So many years have passed since you wrote this story and I feel catapulted back in time, it feels like time has stopped and i'm standing here, in a corner of my room remembering all those memories. I hope with every piece of my heart that you will answer this, 'cause I have so much to say. I found your story just four years ago, I'm italian so I used to read it through a translation but at least between school works and various problems that life makes you face I never really finished to read it. Over the years I've always thought about it, in some small moments when nothing was crossing my mind I started to wondering what happened to Bill and Tom, if Tom had saved Bill, if Bill had died, Tom's reaction, everything. This year, exactly 10 years later since you wrote it and four since I read it and never quit, I decided that I'll make it to the end. I literally looked everywhere, but it has been eliminated and denied the translation because of plagiarism (I understand that). I wanted to read it at all costs, so I signed up here and, even with some problems, I tried to read it. Today I finally end it and I just want you to know what I've felt. It was like ending a chapter, a chapter of my life, that broke my heart into sharp pieces. I've felt so many emotions with this story, that I don't even know how someone can feel it all at the same time. Agony, anxiety, fear, pain, but especially love. What Tom feels for Bill is indecipherable, inexplicable, a love that cross the border, cross every convention, every distance. I hope that someday someone could love me as much as Tom loves Bill. I'm not ashamed to say that I cried, because it's what I did, I didn't have other choice. The story, the words, the passion, everything you've put into this masterpiece. It lets me fall on my knees and now I feel completely shattered. It's all over but 815 will live in my heart forever. I'll admit, I wish they had said "i love you" to each other, but I'm glad they ran away together and Bill can finally be free. I can honestly say that you deserve it. You deserve every compliment, every comment, every fucking thing. Your story has been translated all over the world, in every language and country. I'm sure I'll keep thinking about it. You have a special gift, you truly moved people and it's not a simple thing to do. This story changed my heart, changed me. I don't even know if it's possible to a simple story to do that, but it's how I feel now. I feel changed, new, reborn. It took me a while to write this and I know there'll probably be some mistakes, but I hope you can understand. I really needed to thank you, after all these years.
Thank you for making me feel so much. I'll never forget it.
Lots of love, Kat.
Author's Response: I don't even know how to respond to this, this is one of the nicest comments I've gotten and I'm a bit at a loss for words. I'm incredibly sorry the translations disappeared, but I'm glad you found this instead and that you managed to read it. I really don't know how to reply to this, but just thank you so so much, I'll surely come back to this comment again and again when I feel meh about my writing in the future. This really is way more praise than I deserve, but I'm so glad something about this story resonated with you. You're amazing, thank you <3
Date: 08/16/17 02:15 am Title: Partner in Crime
oh my god. i'm sitting here with a heavy heart and not knowing how to feel. this fic broke me. i was so scared! i didn't want bill to die and i kept hoping and hoping! i read this in one sitting, it was too good... you have beautiful writing, beautiful to keep one interested without stop! this was so lovely and sad... my heart aches that they never said i love you! ah! but i can imagine their new life would be sweet, free, and they would say i love you then. :) thank you for this, it was one of the best things i've read in my life.
Author's Response: This was such a sweet comment, thank you so much! They definitely say it in the future <3
Date: 06/08/17 05:39 pm Title: Partner in Crime
So I started reading this story four days ago and finished it last night. I wanted to review after I finished the last chapter but I was too tired to do it then lol.
But let me tell you, you are a lovely writer with brilliant ideas. I thoroughly enjoyed the story, and often found myself thinking about it when I didn't have time to read it. I think you have to be a pretty good story teller to do that. Sometimes I would read it before bed and go to sleep coming up with things that might happen next!
You really fooled me though with this ending though! I expected a very angsty and sad one but was pleasantly surprised with this one. Though I think I would have been happy either way, sometimes things don't have to have happy endings.
Anyways, this is kind of long so I hope it doesn't sound too silly. Just wanted to let you know that people still love this story in 2017! I actually haven't been on this website in years so this was the first story that has gotten me back into it.
Thank you and can't wait to read your other stories!
Date: 05/15/16 01:20 pm Title: Partner in Crime
I have not much to comment just yet but I felt the need to come and comment here anyway
I read some of the chapters years ago and LOVED them. Then, for some reason, I stopped following this (and had a long break from fan fiction in general, too) but I have never forgotten about this, and my aim has been to read this one day.
I simply ADORE your writing and this fic.. or the chapters I have read, anyway. Now I bumped into this again, and ..well, kind of read some of the ending because I was damn curious and DAMN I REALLY NEED TO READ THIS WHOLE THING.
The ending was so painful and pure, yet in a twisted, 815ish way happy. I don't think a story - that is still incomplete to me, not having read it all I mean - has ever raised such strong feelings in me in only a few paragraphs.
So, I promise you to try my best to read this before autumn. I will start when I only have time and when I am emotionally ready - the latter will be harder! I know this is going to make me simply nuts.
So, see you around! xxx
Date: 05/05/16 04:29 pm Title: Partner in Crime
I can't believe i've just read the ending of this story! It's been... 7 years i think? i was even a translator, but between internet issues and me leaving the fandom i never got to read the last ten chapters. i recently resumed my passion tho and i reread the whole thing because i remember it to be awesome, and im so glad i did! this is one of the best story i've ever read, and i feel this... strange sense of closure now lol?? after all these years. maybe i kind of ""hoped"" for a bad ending but i knew that wasn't happening, idk i just knew. but im a sucker for happy endings anyway so no way im complaning! plus, this is so bittersweet. it leaves me wondering what's going to happen, and i really have clue. it breaks my heart that Bill thought that killing himself was the easy way out, and that he was willing to do it in front of Tom even, how could he? the fact that we don't get to see his reaction when the gun isn't loaded makes me even sadder :( mmm i'll probably think about this story for a long time! thank you so much for everything b29;
Date: 04/24/16 05:49 pm Title: Partner in Crime
OMG, that was so AMAZING!! If anyone ever told me that I would read fick about Bill and Tom lovers, I wouldn't believe them, but it was so amazing, so HOT, I just couldn't stop reading. I really see Bill and Tom differently now, and they are so sexy... hahaha :) Thank you very, very much!!
Date: 04/22/16 03:12 pm Title: The Newcomers
Hello, BrokenMirror! :) What's up?
I start to read your fic, and I just wanna say that I am a student-translator, I need some practice in it. I have been looking for some occupation and the best there is!
I love good slash fanfictions, one of my friends had recommended YOUR fic to me, she said that it's the best and the most famous slash-fic in our fandom.
So I decided to translate it just for myself. Unfortunately, nobody had translated your fic into Russian, but I would like to do it and to share with people. If you don't mind, I'll gradually start to translate. If you don't agree - just say, I'll translate only for myself, but me and hundrends of people will be dissapointed in this case :(
Good luck, waiting for the answer! (sorry, if I made some rude mistakes)
Author's Response: Hi! I'm glad you enjoyed this story so much, thank you! When it comes to translating, I no longer allow anyone to translate my stories. I've had a lot of issues (still do) where people steal the translated versions and post them other places without any credit or links. It was translated into Russian several years ago and it had a lot of readers, but I think the forum it was on is gone now. I would appreciate it if you didn't translate it at all, even just for yourself, because you still don't know for sure where the file could end up eventually. So I'm sorry! I hope you understand :/ However there are plenty of great authors on this site who wouldn't mind at all of you translated their stories (as long as you ask first)! :)
Date: 03/30/16 11:01 am Title: Partner in Crime
I want to thank you, you are an amazing author! I read this story on czech site twincest, because my English is not so good , so thank you for approval to translate your story.You are soo talendted - so many emotions in every single part, the way you choose words is perfect, there were many exciting scenes. I also laughed a lot because some lines entertained me a lot, thanks for that ) . I love all of characters - Tom as a cop ? Oh my God yes !!! Sexy uniform, gun , handcuffs b29;b29; what else I need to die :)) . The sex scenes in prison were so hooooot.
Although I read the last part already, still wondering why Bill has done the crime....
I would like to know if Prison Break was your inspiration ... I watched this series but it wasn't as good as your story, don't worry .
Thank you for happy end, I felt every emotion in this story very strongly so I'm not sure what will hapend to me If this doesn't have a happy end, so thank you for a happy end, you did it right.Thank you and please, continue writtting b29;b29;b29;
Author's Response: Haha, thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much :) I've never watched Prison Break though, except for the first few episodes, but that was more recent than this story. The show Lost was my inspiration actually!