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Reviewer: Ewa Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/29/15 10:16 am Title: Chapter 4

Lenin... crazy communist. Surely his spells wont do any good to anyone, Andy should stay away from it.

This "blood" part...so Bill have some dark past apparently?

Reviewer: Ewa Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/29/15 10:12 am Title: Chapter 3

Bill definitely have some mental problem, but sometimes he sounds more than sane I would say - "You are the worst parents in the world. How dare you subject these children to live this life? How dare you bring another child into this world when you are so dirt poor?!" - this is so true, so right! I hate egoists who are breeding like crazy but can't afford even the most basic stuff such as food for their kids. Killing whole family is a harsh solution to this problem, hahaha. Bill is acting like a person with bipolar disorder, I guess that maybe something happened to him in his past.

I don't understand one thing - you wrote that royals were "dirty, disgusting, pale, and ugly"... why is
"pale" used as a derogatory therm, just like dirty, disgusting and ugly? How those this word ended up together with insults?

Author's Response: The Humanoid race is pale. If they got any paler their skin would be transparent. Since the Nomads tend to be tan or of s darker complexion to them pale is an insult. That's why Andy being pale made him an outcast too. Think of it like how Native Americans would call Europeans, Pale Faces. Or they'd call us Red Skins. It's meant to be racist. Hell, I wanted it to be racist. To show that they have a sickening hatred toward the humanoid.

Reviewer: Ewa Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/29/15 09:54 am Title: Chapter 1

As a Polish I find the idea of Germany winning any World War very disturbing and historically sensitive, and this communistic Russian hammer and sickle on the flag makes situaction even worse. I will try to ignore this and read the story anyway. Against whom exactly Germany won?

So Bill is very aggressive psychopath here? Original idea! Poor Andy,can't see bright future in front of him!

Author's Response: It was Germany and Russia VS. America and Great Britain. Plus there was a whole technology apocalypse after that. Since Germany in this story was already using wizards and mysticism, they survived better than the other countries. Plus the war in my story was started by America and Great Britain. They attacked Germany mercilessly and got their asses handed to them. Sorry if it bothers you, I know exactly what Germany did in World War 2. I'm very aware of the horrible things that person did, but I also have developed a philosophy of not living in my past since I don't live their anymore. I also recall that technically all the countries that signed the Treaty of Versailles can be blamed for WW2. They left Germany to suffer the consequences of a war they didn't even start. They just defended their allies. rnLenin was a crazy communist true. I know all these historical facts. I'm just adding a what if column. Day by day people have asked the question if Germany won or if their was another world war who would be in it and who'd be victorious? I choose to write this way because it's all for the sake of this story. Things only offend you, if you allow it. While I'm sure we both lost someone or something or family in world war 2 I'm also sure that neither of us were alive at the time. I can't rewrite history but I'm not letting that change this story in anyway. I've worked hard on it and it's staying as it is.

Reviewer: Android in the Closet Signed [Report This]
Date: 03/20/15 04:57 pm Title: Chapter 5

Haha, I missed this story! I wonder what is going to happen? I need to know!

I think Andy will take a very, very long time to figure everything out. He isn't very good at the magic thing, or the look-deep-within-yourself thing, either. I wonder what he was dreaming about? Or did they both hit their heads? It's a little unclear who was passed out first.

I love it, and I can't wait to learn more! I think his dad has abused him somehow, though I can't guess how...

xxx
J

Author's Response: So sorry this is confusing, okay the only one to hit their head was Bill and he had the dream about the blood. Andy and One were trying to wake him up when the other maid came in and called for the doctors. Andy was awake the whole time. You think Andy has issues too? Hmm, well he is horrible at Magic but I didn't think he could be perceived as a person with issues. I'll have to read my own work and see if that can happen. That's really strange. But you are very perceptive so maybe you're reading in between the lines. Lmao, so I'll be posting later this week, so I can help ease those crazy fanfic reader anxieties.

Reviewer: Android in the Closet Signed [Report This]
Date: 03/07/15 07:45 pm Title: Chapter 4

Is Bill being sexually abused by his father? It could be that I just finished reading a Zuko/Ozai abuse fic but this gives me the same funny, something is not quite right feeling. Why would he go to his father if he was bleeding like that, and why would he push the memory away now? Also, where is the blood coming from? /pervy reader in the name of science.

I like the idea of both, that Bill is a bit of both, though his thoughts on God seem a little messed up.

I love the Russian references, and I am glad you found a way to weave my weird poster into this:) I think Wizard!Lenon is great, actually. If you de-fanfictioned this sometime you should get it published:)

Andy...I just hope he can figure out what he's doing so he can help Bill and himself. I feel like Bill really needs someone.

xxx
J

Reviewer: Android in the Closet Signed [Report This]
Date: 02/25/15 06:07 pm Title: Chapter 3

This was a good chapter, and I liked the end notes.

I feel bad for the performers, and especially the children. I look forward to maybe seeing Bill with his temper under control and children, it seems like something he would like.

I liked Andy and how he spoke back. It brought the dire situation to a kind of funny end, which is great. I liked the exploration of the nomad traditions, and the little facts about the Humanoids. It helps bring the story together, in my opinion.

Anyway, it's great!

xxx
J

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I really was worried it'd be bad because of the exposition parts but it's good and I'm glad. I felt giving a little insight would benefit the readers. It helps to clear some things up too. Bill with kids, hmm? Also that scar will be explained in about two chapters.

Reviewer: Android in the Closet Signed [Report This]
Date: 02/21/15 01:23 am Title: Chapter 2

I like it a lot. It was nice, and perfectly paced. I liked the way it stared with Andy in this chapter.

I liked the shifter concept, and it's interesting to think about all the different people we have in this world in your world.

I like the maid, she seems really sweet. Do you think she'll be a regular character? I hope she is!

I liked the end, how Bill showed a different side. It was good to see. I also liked Andy's plan. I wonder what your scar is from, Bill?

Sorry, I would review better but I am so tired right now.

XOXO

Author's Response: I'll make her a regular definitely. I like her character so far and she'll make many appearances. I like switching it up. Andy's POV will be very different from Bill's or someone else's. I'm even thinking of doing one for the maids. Yeah I'm a little crazy. I hope the next one is just as good. I wrote the last chapter of Dork while I was half asleep so I know the feeling. I tend to write when I'm sleeping or about to sleep and then I look back at the work and think what the hell was I thinking.

Reviewer: Android in the Closet Signed [Report This]
Date: 02/19/15 09:33 pm Title: Chapter 1

Thanks for the creds at the beginning:) I love making you posters, it's really interesting.

On to the story; I like it. It's really quickly paced, and has you on edge to see what happens next. I like the murder (that sounded sick) and the quick way Bill gets things over with. The way it's kind of like he washed his hands of it once it's done.


I also love Andy the magic man, haha. It's great:) I wonder what trick he'll learn...maybe something to please Bill?

The fact that you write egomaniac so well is a little scary, but in a good way. I love it so far!

XOXOX
J

Author's Response: Thank you so much and I always give credit when credit it due. I tried to think of someway to make it seem like the bad things that he does doesn't seem bad to him like. He's doing something and then it happened. Spur of the moment kind of thing I guess. I'm glad you like it and I will try to post he next one tomorrow.

Author's Response: Thank you so much and I always give credit when credit it due. I tried to think of someway to make it seem like the bad things that he does doesn't seem bad to him like. He's doing something and then it happened. Spur of the moment kind of thing I guess. I'm glad you like it and I will try to post he next one tomorrow.

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