Date: 07/27/14 12:14 am Title: Chapter IV
Lovely chapter.
Bill is reacting to Tom which is good. It's showing that maybe he isn't as insane as they claim he might be. It shows just how deep into his mania he truely is.
I knew I didn't like that doctor. He seemed to pleased with Bill's condition for my liking. It's all about money to them and the sad thing is that majority of people out to help others tend to have interior motives.
I'm glad Tom just wants to help him too. The fact that he's against it makes me feel that he'll genuinely try to help.
Can't wait for more.
Date: 06/29/14 12:45 pm Title: Chapter III
omg what!?
what those sick bastards are planning on?
continue please!!
Date: 06/29/14 12:38 pm Title: Chapter II
uhm, this is getting more interesting (:
*thumbs up*
Date: 06/22/14 06:13 pm Title: Chapter II
Love it!!
Continue please!
Date: 06/20/14 09:39 pm Title: Chapter II
Thank you for the update. I hope the flow of the fic gets better when you get a beta.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Date: 06/12/14 07:45 pm Title: Chapter I
the beggining of the chapter was deep and almost poetic, I loved it
Date: 06/10/14 10:15 pm Title: Chapter I
I must say I like this.
The use of a physical object to build a character this believable is amazing. I really find it captivating.
I can't wait to see what's put Bill in this state or more of his thinking process. This idea seems fresh to me. I've never actually read something like this.
For a first chapter, this is amazing. It doesn't give a lot of information but it gives enough so I can follow the story. To see that Bill needs this red crayon to be stable is very interesting. Despite his lapses that you mentioned he seems to be able to partially function. Seeing as he got himself dressed.
I find the inclusion of that small detail really captivated me. He would seem like some mentally ill person. The mystery of what could be causing his mental impairment is another great detail. It makes me wanna read more because I want to know why he's this way.
Simone seems to care a great deal about her son, yet she's trying to be normal about the situation. Like, she's aware of his problem but tries not to dwell on it. She just wants to help him.
Just one question, but you may answer this later in the story so feel free to disregard it, how old is Bill in your story?
It'll be easier for me to visualize him while reading. Plus some of future details may tie together.
Can't wait for more.
P.S. Adding this to my favorites so I can get updates on when you've posted new chapters.
Nice work :)