Date: 04/02/23 02:01 am Title: Weekend
I have left a review on other stories of yours, but wanted to say that I enjoyed this one too!
Date: 05/13/20 01:15 am Title: Conversations
I just finished reading your story, I loved it !! I am so sorry for the separation from Bill and Tom in high school but it helped them mature and grow as people. Their love survived and they are together.
Date: 07/31/19 08:42 pm Title: Conversations
this was a good story!
Date: 07/31/19 08:16 pm Title: Conversations
this was a good story!
Date: 11/05/15 11:02 am Title: Conversations
I like this fic for its difference. The pairing of Andi and Gusti was unusual and so tantalizing. XD
Bill and Tom are amazing characters. Your fic is awesome and I had a great time reading.
Author's Response:
I like doing unusual pairings. They are fun and they add a different spice to stories. I am glad you enjoyed it and keep reading my stories.
Date: 09/01/13 04:46 am Title: Conversations
Also, forgot to say: I stayed up until almost five AM to read this. That's a measure of how compelling it was to read, even with all the little mistakes and plot holes and what-not. That's another reason I think you have such great potential - I'm not an easy person to keep interested, especially with fics that have as many problems as yours did. The fact that you kept me interested in this fic, even with all it's dings and scratch marks, is really amazing.
Date: 09/01/13 04:44 am Title: Conversations
What do I think about the ending? The timeline doesn't work. Bill was eighteen in his last year of high school. Nathalie is his twin. (Disregarding that you said "three years later" because that doesn't make sense with the ages you said Nathalie and Georg were) Therefore, if Nathalie is twenty, it's only two years after high school - she's still in college. Plus, Nathalie wanted to be a lawyer. There's no way she'd get married and pregnant so soon. People in higher classes just don't do that. My sister and her now-husband were together for ten years, and had lived together for five years, before they finally got married. And I'm not NEARLY as high class as Bill and Nathalie were raised to be. She would not have gotten married after only two years, and would certainly not have gotten pregnant before finishing college. If Bill is at Julliard when she's getting married, then she's missing school for her honeymoon. She went to Harvard, right? She'd probably have been kicked out for missing so much school. Then there's the fact that you said Bill graduated from Julliard after only three years. That's not actually possible, even if he had done summer classes. There are certain courses that one needs to take during the regular school year, and Bill wouldn't have had enough of those to graduate in three years even if he'd done summer and winter semester. The timeline doesn't square out with how many years you said passed. In general, I did like this. I just think you missed a lot when you skipped those three years, and also that you need to do better research. The characters were wonderful and interesting and, apart from the parents and other bit-characters, very well thought out. However, the plot and every single fact had HUGE holes in it. Also, you didn't address a lot of the stuff you mentioned, such as Nathalie's need for control and Andy's past anorexia. The Russian playwright, Chekov, once said (and I'm paraphrasing) "If you introduce a gun in the first act, it has to have been fired by the third." What this means is, if you put info into a fic/play/book/WHATEVER, YOU HAVE TO USE IT. You didn't use a lot of the stuff you mentioned. You also obviously had done no research about New York, and knew nothing about it from experience. In order to write a good fic, you need one or the other of those two things (both is preferable). There were a lot of plot holes in this. There were a lot of mistakes in this (grammatical and otherwise). There were a lot of un-fired guns in this. However, as I said, your characters were very well thought out, and your plot idea was very interesting. You certainly have amazing potential, and I can't wait to see how you improve in the future =)
Date: 09/01/13 03:55 am Title: Beginning, Middle and End
Again, with the assumption that all schools don't let their students know about sex! When I was in middle school, our teacher specifically told us that you can buy lube if you need it and that girls don't need lube - in the same sentence. In high school health, we had to do a project on safe sex, and one of the things to choose was proper preparation. I went to a city school (not in New York city). Seriously, the school would not ban sex-ed sites. Also, um... google? Sorry, it's just... so much of this is out of character for New York City, even more than for the characters themselves, and it's just... it's painful to see a city I love so much so misrepresented.
Date: 09/01/13 03:33 am Title: Important
Age of consent in New York is seventeen, but if they're less than four years apart, it's legal. In other words: Not jailbait.
Date: 09/01/13 03:13 am Title: Date
I had figured as much while I was reading the rest of the fic 'til now. Now, please note, this is not a flame and I do actually love this fic, if it took place in a city other than New York. However, it does take place in New York, and as far as I can tell, it's supposed to take place in Manhattan (you did mention Harlem, after all). Therefore, it takes place on the island which basically doesn't have houses, where no one has a car unless they've got something to prove, and no one rich is homophobic because it's not politically correct to be. Bill and Natalie would live in a high-rise apartment, and if they're as rich as they would need to be to have BOTH their parents be blue bloods on The Board (because really, that should be capitalized XD), then they'd probably own the whole floor, and not know any of their neighbors. Also, football: Not so big in the city with no space. It'd be much more likely that the basketball or hockey team was the big thing, even in an upper-class prep school. Another thing that's almost completely blase in New York: sex among teens. I mean, not COMPLETELY - it's not like everyone's fucking everyone or anything. People have standards. But unless it's a religious school, the nurse's office probably even has free condoms. Bill's and Nat's parents wouldn't be that shocked to find their daughter having sex. Now, they might be a bit perturbed if Bill was gay (just because being accepting is politically correct does NOT mean they're actually okay with it), but they'd probably get over it pretty quickly. I cannot see any parent in that world threatening to beat a kid because he was gay. Now, I said no one would have a car unless they had something to prove? Yeah, most people don't have cars even if they do have something to prove. They prove it with fashion instead, and by taking taxis and hired cars everywhere - it's actually cheaper in New York to take a taxi every day than to drive your own car. The parking is just that bad. Oh, and one other thing: Unless this is supposed to take place before 2000, then Bane would get suspended, too, as long as Natalie told the truth about why she punched him. Oh, and her parents probably wouldn't be that freaked out about her having punched him. Hell, they might even commend her for it, seeing as him grabbing her ass is sexual harassment in this context. The gay bar... I actually haven't been to one either (despite being bi and loving yaoi and living in New York... I have to get on that XD), so I don't know if the description is accurate. Mostly, I think you forgot about lesbians, but there are some bars that are specifically gay guy bars or specifically lesbian bars, so I wouldn't worry too much about that. Oh, and about Tom's car: It would make a lot more sense for them to take the subway or bus. New York's public transportation system is second only to Boston and San Francisco, and those top spots are very close together. Most people take public transport even if they could afford a car, because it just makes so much more sense (more video games for Tom, and more books for Gustav XD). OH! And as a writer, you are not allowed to have a character quote a book and not have the other characters comment on it. When Georg and Tom were talking to Gustav about the toilet thing, you had Gustav say "No thanks - the poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it. It might be sick." That is a direct quote from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Harry says it to Dudley and then runs away after Dudley teases him about going to the local public school. No matter how illiterate Tom and Georg are supposed to be, Gustav is not. He has read Harry Potter, and he would have said it slightly like a quote. Even if they hadn't read Harry Potter, they would have recognized the tone of one who is quoting something, and asked about it. Now, I have read Harry Potter a lot (*cough*thirteen times*cough*), but still. You can't do that. Quite apart from the plagiarism, it's bad form. A good portion of this is pretty OOC, but seeing as it's AU and you aren't changing how you're writing them, that doesn't matter to me too much. I suggest changing the city to Baltimore, or perhaps to Philly. I'm from Baltimore, and I can see this taking place there MUCH more than I can see it taking place in New York... well, other than the fact that there isn't a private prep school in Baltimore that's co-ed (don't know about Philly...), but still. I would seriously consider changing the city where this is supposed to take place. Oh, and I also suggest getting another beta reader. Or just a different one. Yours missed a lot of stuff. That all being said, I have very much liked this fic so far, and I can't wait to read the rest of it ^-^ Sorry for the novel XD
Date: 08/19/13 12:08 am Title: Conversations
I loved the Glee reference at the beginning of this chapter!
Date: 07/31/13 10:41 pm Title: Conversations
Great story. Bill and Tom are so good together. Tom is so sweet! They deserve to be happy.
Date: 07/24/13 07:50 pm Title: Conversations
Awwieeee!! So awesome! And i really love happy endings so this was perfect! So sad that there won't be another chapter anymore but i guess all good things come to an end, but thank you for the GREAT reading experience!!! I loved every word of this fic!
Date: 07/22/13 11:07 pm Title: Conversations
finally Tom and BIll are happy :)natalie and Geo will have their first baby, plus Simone is ok with the relationship Bill had with Tom...it couldn't have end up better :)
Date: 07/22/13 08:01 pm Title: Conversations
Excellent
Date: 07/14/13 11:19 am Title: Productive Moments
Yay! They are working things out! Great chapter and Tom bottoming was kinda hot ;) Can't wait to read more!! :D
Author's Response:
I am glad you liked it and Tom bottoming is rare so it is hot when it happens.
Date: 07/09/13 10:11 am Title: Productive Moments
wow....after what happened they definitely should talk about everything what is between them
Author's Response:
I agree they should talk but boys are known for not always being smart and doing what they should.
Date: 07/09/13 12:50 am Title: Productive Moments
Gah....stubborn Bill. I understand his reluctance though. Looking forward to more.
Author's Response:
I know he annoys me sometimes too. I am glad you enjoyed and hope you will like the next chpater. I also hope you will read my newest story.
Date: 07/09/13 12:03 am Title: Productive Moments
ajdiasdadaksjd fck i didn't see that coming OH GOSH!!!!!! hot hot hot bottom xD
but Bill omg all stronger, hard to get man!!!!
poor Tom :'D hahahah
this part hurt " “I am such a mess these days.”" :(
I hope Bill gives him a chance i think he is really trying!!!
..but then this part "Yeah, well I was young, dumb and full of ..." just cause of this I'm glad Bill is making him beg hahahha >;D
AMAZING chapter thank you so much!!
omg i just noticed i have been a bad reader to you aksdmas this is my first comment and I found your story 4 chapters ago ..i think xD!! I'm really sorry!! :0
thanks again for share this amazing story I'm loving it!!
Author's Response:
I am glad you like that Bill is playing hard to get and making Tom beg. I wanted to show Bill in a different light. In a lot of stories, I am guilty of this too, Bill is all weak and collaspes into Tom's embrace at a single attractive smile. I wanted to show that Bill could resist if he really wanted to. I am glad you reviewed. I hope you enjoy the last bit and will read What Happens in Vegas...