LOVE IT!!!! awwww....my fic looks so RUSHED compared to yours....me needs to do better

Author's Response: haha!!! *hugs* Thanks for commenting!! Yours are awesome too!!! :)

wow, this was good. Pretty damn good, actually. Better then I thought at first, by reading the summary. I thought this would be another random 'Adam runs into Bill and they hook up' stories, but it's actually completely different! If I may give a suggestion; try for a better summary that discribes a little more what this story is about, it might attrackt a few more readers :)

furthermore, I love the plot you've set out here, it's really intruiging, though I'm of the opinion that you're moving a little bit too fast. That's okay though, since it's your story, but I would love to read some more explanation, some more thoughts and surroundings, some more details about what is happening. You've got a really great writing style and you can definitely pull that off.

Otherwise, wow. awesome work. I like the little details and the power and action waves into this chapter. I love X-men, so this is really awesome.
And excuse me if I'm wrong, but I think I recognised the black tears from the series 'heroes' am I right?
Great job, keep it up!

~Dawn

Author's Response: Hiya Dawn!! :) First off THANK YOU for commenting on my story! :) I really appreciate it! I actually suck at summaries, lol, so I added a different one! Hopefully that will help more people to understand and like what this story is about. :) I am a huge fan of X-men and basically any show with super powers so I thought it'd be fun to play around with Adam, Bill and Tom in this context! :) The black bleeding out from Bill's eyes were more from The X-men comics and the character of Elixer (who Bill resembles a bit - power wise) I totally forgot about that in Heroes as well! I should go watch my Heroes dvds ;) I hope you have a wonderful day! Chapter 2 coming soon! xoxo