Date: 10/13/14 05:08 pm Title: Chapter 1
Nooooooooo!! I've never wanted Tom to die so much!!! They NEED to be together!
Date: 06/03/10 02:26 am Title: Chapter 1
OMG I usually hate reading these kinds of stories, but this was a brilliantly sad yet beautifully imaged tear-jerker...
Date: 02/24/09 02:32 pm Title: Chapter 1
oh god, i'm crying right now.. i think that says enough .. x
Date: 09/22/08 10:08 am Title: Chapter 1
Oh God I cried like a baby after reading this! This is the epitome of bittersweet. So romantic and sad and beautiful...
Date: 08/14/08 12:56 am Title: Chapter 1
Omg. You have me crying. This story is absolutely wonderful.
Date: 06/17/08 06:25 am Title: Chapter 1
aww so sad:(
but a beautiful story too:)
Date: 06/15/08 02:26 am Title: Chapter 1
Oh my goodness, this was a good story, but so sad...I'm crying right now.
Wonderful story :)
Date: 06/09/08 12:13 pm Title: Chapter 1
Wow, beautiful story :D It's very sad, but I love it, it's beautiful!
Date: 05/30/08 11:28 am Title: Chapter 1
This is a verry verry beautifull and verry verry sad story!! I'm sobbing and crying here! Tom without Bill and Bill without Tom I can't imagine and the tought off how they would feel is horrible!
You're a very good writer! I read all of your story's :D
xx
Date: 03/17/08 11:54 pm Title: Chapter 1
Style - 9.5/10 The variety of language makes the story interesting, and the whole piece flows well. There are no major grammar or spelling mistakes. There aren't any issues that detract from the story. Overall, the story is very enjoyable to read.
Character Development - 9/10 Bill and Tom are adorable as children, amusing and passionate as teens, and realistic throughout. Though only included briefly, the secondary characters are well portrayed.
Plot - 8/10 Good plot for such a short piece. I was immediately drawn in to the story and immensely curious to find out what was going on. For a one-shot, this is impressive. My only complaint is that I felt a little unsatisfied not knowing what caused Bill's condition. I can understand your reasons for not including it, but I would have been more satisfied with a brief explanation of what had happened. The ending was not what I expected and was a pleasant surprise.
Pairing - 8/10 I would have liked more exploration of how the twins formed their relationship. However, for the length you did a good job communicating the intensity of the relationship. The flashbacks are a wonderful way to show the progression of the twins' relationship in a condensed format. One thing I like about this story compared to other death fics is that it represents real love rather than the tired old notion that it is romantic for one person to follow another into death. Bill wanting his brother to go back and continue on is a representation of real mature love. The bond between the twins is beautiful.
Dialog - 7.5/10 The dialog is realistic and for the most part flows well. I think you are more creative in your descriptions that your dialog, and I would love to see you apply more creativity to the dialog. The dialog does not detract from the story or interrupt the flow, but it doesn't contribute anything outstanding to the story either.
Lust Factor - 8/10 I usually like to see more build up of sexual tension. However, in this particular story there really wasn't much room for it because of the format. The sex scene was well written and erotic, but not quite as outstanding as the rest of the story.
Wow Factor - 9/10 The hospital scene is heart wrenching. I felt what Tom felt and it brought tears to my eyes. Death fic is a hard thing to write without getting in to very tired cliché, but I think you did a very good job of it.
Taking in to consideration the genre and the length, I give it a 9 out of 10 overall.
Author's Response: THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Date: 02/23/08 02:08 pm Title: Chapter 1
OMG, my throat is burning from the tears I was almost going to release :( this was so good. Really, a very pleasant reading :) compliments.
Date: 02/23/08 01:36 pm Title: Chapter 1
This was so sad, and beautiful. I almost started crying.
Date: 02/23/08 12:35 pm Title: Chapter 1
omg i'm sobbing right now and i can't stop T_____T
Date: 02/23/08 11:42 am Title: Chapter 1
oh god im still crying that was... amazing and that word still isnt good enough wow just... heartbreakingly beautiful
Date: 02/23/08 10:55 am Title: Chapter 1
omg i cried T___________T
Date: 02/23/08 10:26 am Title: Chapter 1
I'm bawling right now. :[
Date: 02/23/08 09:36 am Title: Chapter 1
omg...that..was WONDERFUL!!!
you made me cry in the last memory
your a ginius
Date: 02/23/08 09:29 am Title: Chapter 1
Oh my gosh, I can't stop crying now! x3
Date: 02/23/08 09:17 am Title: Chapter 1
I cried so hard.
Beautiful ._.
Date: 02/23/08 09:06 am Title: Chapter 1
*sobs* You made me cry :(
It was beautifully written. And I liked how Bill was the strong one, telling Tom he had to live his life fully. There was a sense of hope to the ending that made me smile (through my tears^^) Lovely.
Author's Response: there's always hope therrrre ;)