Date: 05/13/15 06:29 am Title: their game.
OMG, I think I've read this before, I think... but oh man, I'm so glad I read this again. It's so sexy. I love stories where it starts out like a game and then becomes real. Even through all the smut, u can really feel this one. You can feel Bill's heart breaking, and how even though they can't stay away from each other, Tom tried, I think that's what he did, I think he was testing Bill and testing himself. But that ending is golden.... "I have a boyfriend"... that is a seriously amazing way to throw caution to the wind, to really make it public, especially cuz it's Tom saying it, and I think it shows how lovestruck he is too, that he's just giving up control completely so he can be with Bill. This is super super great. Thank you so much for writing this. :) :) Loved it!
Date: 05/25/12 06:08 pm Title: their game.
This is a fantastic idea. It was all brilliant, but there needed to be more.
The different sections of this story should have been separate chapters, and it needed to have more descriptions. It's like you have taken all the important bits of a story, and squashed them together. (I'm sorry, it's hard to explain.)
The ending was a bit too vague as well. I'm not sure what exactly happened.
With a little work (perhaps get a beta reader for the grammar) this could be a really amazing story.
Please dont give up on this story, I hope my comment helps :)