Date: 10/11/09 05:20 pm Title: Chapter 2: Thinking of You
Oh Tom :(. You just don't get it, do you?
About your answer on my last review: you described angst really well. It IS suffocation. And feeeling the character's suffocation is a proof of a good fic. When I say that I hate it, it means that it affects me greatly and it is always a good thing. So yes, please, keep breaking my heart and I cry and enjoy at the same time :D. I think once or twice has happened that I wasn't able to reade through a fic because it was too painful and I couldn't handle the image.
As having a bad day now this was perfect (and yet worst) for it. BS about sudden right and wrong! Denial sucks deeply. I have an idea of two different endings and I want to see which direction you are going to take.
Nice, sad chapter. I'll be waiting for more!
Author's Response: Yea.no, he really doesn't get it. He's...trying to be the big brother, the one that doesn't succumb to his feelings, not realizing that he's driving away his reason for living.
and awww, I'm glad I could hit the feeling of angst dead on, and that I CAN make you feel their angst. This story only had about 16 chapters (blame the songs. I couldn't NOT use all the songs on the albums), but it will be a journey filled with tears and anger and defeat and just a whole lot of stuff that I honestly don't think a lot of the readers on here are READY to face.
I'm sorry that your day was so bad, and I'm glad that this could help sorta. You know that you can ALWAYS email me if you need someone to talk to. And what endings are you seeing for this? I always enjoy hearing my reader's ideas for the futures of my works.
Date: 10/11/09 04:51 pm Title: Chapter 2: Thinking of You
Aww it's so sad.
I feel deeply for them both.
It's good.
xx
Author's Response: awww. i'm sorry that it's so sad? i never MEAN to write angst, it kinda just happens, but I'm glad that you still like it.
Date: 10/11/09 01:54 pm Title: Chapter 2: Thinking of You
Wow. just wow i think its a little lcearer now.. sort of. >.<
Author's Response: Hahah. awww. well, theres still more chapters to come, and it'll eventually make sense as a whole, but the biggest thing you should know is basically that Tom pushed Bill away and Bill left because he couldn't handle Tom, Tom's gf or all of the lies, and now everyone has to deal with the consequences of Bill leaving and such.
Date: 10/11/09 09:27 am Title: Chapter 2: Thinking of You
Tom, you're an idiot. Everything that Bill wants is you. YOU are what he needs. You pushing him away is hurting you too, isn't it? Does that still sit right with you, only so you can sleep better at night and feel slightly better about yourself and your actions? Nice brother you are.
What happened to fighting for what you love and fuck the world? Why, because you now developed a conscience? He was good enough to fuck, but not good enough to love?
Bill is hurt too, but he's chosen to leave you behind now, because he hates what you've become. WHOM you've become. He hardly recognizes you anymore and it's sad.
Unendlichkeit, Tom. Did you forget?
Author's Response: *inner Tom kicks at the ground in guilt* he has no words because he knows that you're right, he just can't admit it. And things will work out eventually. He kinda just has to grow to a point where he gets the things Bill does. And get rid of Chantelle. -.-
Date: 10/08/09 06:51 am Title: Chapter 1: The Outsider
Ouch... Need to broke my heart again, isn't it? :)
It took me some time and I had to read almost half of the fic to realise the structure. Maybe I wasn't concentrating enough at first and this needed to be. After I understood, it all made sense again. Just not the most easiest structure to follow at first :). Interesting, though.
The starting point for this is again so damn painful that I would like to say that I need to stop reading angst, because it's killing me sometimes. Very, very painful start. Turned out to be the twisted and nearly hopeless situation, Given up is the worst part. Separation is a thing I can't handle very well at all. Growing apart...
You gave us again a picture of imperfection, cruelty beneath the surface, crashed down all the images just to build up new ones. The lack of mutual understanding hurts, lack of connection. The world and life is coming between them - or are they selves their real barrier? Disappointment, melancholy, to give up... Very depressing beginning. It's hard to see how things could be fixed after this? Maybe they are, maybe they are not, but this hit again straight to the center point of my pain system. I hate it...
...and love it. Thanks :)
Author's Response: Awww I'm sorry I'm breaking your heart again. I don't always mean to write angst, but the songs for these chapters are all so sad that it'd kinda of how the chapters panned out.
and yea, the structure is hard to WRITE, so I can only imagine reading it (when I reread it, it all comes together seeing as I was the one who wrote it lol) But I'm glad you find it interesting. I'm ALWAYS eager to mess with my words and my structuring to get a point across.
And aww, no don't stop reading angst. there are so many angst fics out there, so many GOOD ones, and I have to admit that I'm kinda glad that it was a painful start. I think that a good author shows their writing ability based on whether or not they are able to make their readers feel their character's pain. Here you feel Bill giving up, knowing that there's nothing that he can do if he stays. That hell just end up breaking up because his worst fear is coming true. Tom doesn't want him anymore.
I'm glad you could see everything that I was giving you. I'm always nervous about my angst because sometimes I feel like it's TOO suffocating, but then I realize that, that's how angst works in real life. It's nearly unbearable, it makes you feel distraught and weak and like you're going insane because you're misunderstood, not taken serious, unloved, ignored, broken and other things like that.
I....In my head there is a plan, and in the plan there is a happy ending. Well, not necessarily happy, because you can't just jump from pain and anguish like that to pure unadulterated happiness, but, I can at least say that things work out for the best. And I'm glad that I could make you hate it and love it at the same time. :-)
Date: 10/07/09 06:27 pm Title: Chapter 1: The Outsider
=O omy I didnt undstand most of it but i loved it! but it better get better to understand in comming chapters i hope.
Author's Response: awww. im glad that you could still love it when not really understanding it. and yea, it'll get better. the storyline progresses much further in the next couple of chapters ^_^
Date: 10/07/09 05:27 pm Title: Chapter 1: The Outsider
OMG! SQUEEZE MY HEART A BIT MORE TIGHTLY WHY DON'T YOU!!! *wibbles*
Author's Response: *huggles you* sorry its so sad bb. I'll try to remember to give it a happy ending, DESPITE all of the angst. <3