Date: 10/08/09 07:06 am Title: Mushaboom
Mm, I think that this could be a LOT better than it it rght now with a few simple things. One, you should get a beta to catch spelling mistakes (I only saw one or two) grammar mistakes (there are some in there) and phrasing. Two, you need to make your story more...noticable. I only found this while going through a friend's favorites!
That being said, this is a wonderful start, albeit jumpy, and I would to read more of it. :)
Author's Response: Hm, you're right. I'd have to get me one of those...beta things. Or maybe a more literate friend then I to check over this! Haha. rnMore noticeable? Well, you can only do so much, but I'm glad you found it! As for jumpy, yeah. It's the point ;)
Date: 10/07/09 10:45 pm Title: A Story of Boy Meets Guy
OMG this is awesome and confusing but awesome! more!
Author's Response: THANKS :)
Date: 10/07/09 02:05 am Title: Mushaboom
LOVE it!
Author's Response: DANKE.
Date: 10/07/09 12:01 am Title: Mushaboom
real cute. love how you put snippets of each part of their relationship out of order, makes it interesting. keep writing :D
Author's Response: thanks! I shall! it's a strange concept to read (even write) but I'm super glad you like it!
Date: 10/05/09 03:15 am Title: A Story of Boy Meets Guy
i like it already
Author's Response: danke!
Date: 10/05/09 12:50 am Title: A Story of Boy Meets Guy
Oh no I went to the premiere of this movie, it was a good movie. I just don't want to read the ending involving the boy's, anywho it's great so far.
Author's Response: As I said, different story line...so who really knows ;) It could go either way.
Date: 10/05/09 12:39 am Title: A Story of Boy Meets Guy
Strangely fascinating and has me interested. Will look forward to the next part. :)
Author's Response: why thank you :) hope you like it.